now call it RED Magazine, but art and entertainment writing has
always found a home in these pages. Here’s a chronology of
such writing in its many names and incarnations:
U's fledgling student newspaper publishes its first arts and
entertainment story. It's a look into the latest dance craze and
the song that inspired it—"Oh, Them Golden Slippers."
However, fickle college teens soon turn their attention to the Appalachian
pop sensations responsible for "Donkey in the Cotton Patch,
drawings of Spaniards holding hands with the devil fill The Chronicle's
Lollygaggery section and eventually draws America into a war
against Spain. President McKinley vows to liberate Cuba and free
its bananas for the benefit of the Cuban people.
Titanic sinks with 1,500 souls on board.
would make a smashing moving-picture show,” the editor of
The Ute Artful Dodger muses, “if only one could seamlessly
write the gratuitous display of boobs into the story.”
Czar falls to the glorious Bolshevik rebellion. Long live the glorious
Ho! The Japanese attack Pearl Harbor. The advertising staff makes
the Asian writer sit in a well-lit corner, so they can keep an eye
on him. All able-bodied men who aren’t whiny little babies
join the military. With the men away, administrators replace most
of The Chrony staff with spunky, young women who think they can
write as well as the guys. If only the writing was as good as their
Mexican workers do most of the entertainment reviews. Those lousy
lay-abouts didn’t want to leave when the war ended and we
didn’t want them anymore! ¡Qué ingratos!
investigating Communist influences in college newsrooms, the FBI
becomes suspicious of an assistant editor and her frequent visits
to Boris' Borscht Hut. “I come for the boiled cabbage, but
stay for the Marxist dogma,” they quote her as saying.
entertainment writers catch up to the changing times with a new
magazine insert named The Rumpus Room.
But you hardly even know us!” becomes a popular campus refrain.
Ginsberg publishes “Howl,” the seminal poem of the Beat
generation. A Utah company called Clean Verses republishes it, but
with all references to homosexuality replaced with “…and
then they ate biscuits.” The conservative wing of The Rumpus
Room readily prints the cleaned up version.
music writers were into The Beatles long before they got really
guys are such poseurs.
viewing “The Godfather, Part II,” a Gr-U-vy Gazette
movie reviewer makes a bold statement: “This film improves
so much on an already spectacular first movie. With this momentum,
I predict the third installment in this saga will be the finest
film ever made in the history of the world. By the way, Sofia Coppola
will evolve into an incredible actress in the coming decades.”
civil rights movement makes a belated debut in Utah. A writer for
the U Gotta Have Arts section receives a directive from God telling
him that it’s OK to review music by black artists, especially
God’s erratic half brother, James Brown.
his lead, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issues
a similar proclamation. (That’s Elder Brown, thank you very
is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.
music writer for U-U Utey-Ute-Ute ends an interview with NWA by
threatening violence against the gangsta rap pioneers. "God
help you punks if the sun ever sets on you while you're in Salt
Lake City," he warns them. Police organizations misinterpret
it as a showing of solidarity in response to the controversial tune,
"Fuck tha Police.” The writer later explained the knife-wielding
tantrum as a reaction to the song "Dope Man" and an
expression of his anger over disparaging remarks made against
quake! Grunge makes disheveled losers look fashionable and “heroin
chic” puts junkies on modeling runways. It feels good to be
new millennium is here, minus the disobedient computers and the
mining trips to Saturn. Rest assured, RED will be here with a masterful
blend of elitist snobbery and earthy counterculture to satisfy all
your art and entertainment yearnings.